when i found out i was pregnant with twins i searched the internet high and low for twin mommy blogs to read and learn from. i was bummed to have only been able to find two that were regularly updated and had information worth reading. well now i know WHY ! it’s been 9 weeks since i gave birth to my sweet babies and i haven’t been able to get on the computer for more than three minutes at a time. even when my husband is here, we are both attending to a baby. don’t get me wrong – it is the best thing in this world, but holy hell you no longer can do anything you did before they were here! i have attempted to write about their birth story and every time i get a couple sentences down a baby needs me. last week i was lucky enough to have them both napping for 2 full hours and i had almost typed out the entire story only to have it not save when my husband closed out my tabs on the computer. i thought i might cry and since then decided i was over it. but i promise i will write it (again) soon! mostly because i do feel that it is important to share my experience with other twin mommas so that it can hopefully help them before they go in for delivery. and i of course want it documented for my babies to look back on!
so here i am, able to make a post because penelope is sleeping after i gave her a bath and darin is hangin with dezmond. baby p will be up any second now though, to make sure i don’t get to finish this in one sitting. life is definitely very different now but so much better than it ever was before. we have been extremely blessed to have somewhat easy to care for babies. they sleep well, they eat well, and they are generally overall happy.
(click save because dezmond needs a bath and i’m going to do it because darin did all the early morning feedings so momma could sleep a little!)
let’s talk about coming home with two tiny newborns. leaving the hospital was not as i imagined. i was so filled with a kind of anxiety that i have never felt before. i was not excited or filled with joy like i thought i would be. i was terrified! were these my babies? should we be leaving? shouldn’t a nurse be coming with us? they took care of me and the babies for 5 days in the hospital as i recovered from my cesarean… how can they just let us take these tiny humans and be 100% responsible for them?? i couldn’t comprehend any of it and it was a scary feeling. on top of that, i began to worry about the way i was feeling. shouldn’t i be so overwhelmed with joy as i watch my husband snap our babies carseats into our car so that we can go home and be a family? it wasn’t until we got home and put our babies on our bed that i felt somewhat normal and extremely happy. it was such a relief to be safe with them in our bedroom away from the world ! i never thought i could feel so much fear and anxiety for two tiny little humans.. but it was real.
i’ve heard it before but now i really understand it when new parents wonder why babies don’t come with manuals.
the first few weeks the babies did nothing but eat, sleep and poop. we were feeding every 2 hours on the dot. i was so lucky to have darin here to help until the 15th of june. 2 full weeks at home. they were so good! they made it easy for us. we were able to go out to eat a few times and spend time at friends houses. i was mostly bottle feeding so that also made it easier to do things. i wanted to strictly breast feed but when the babies arrived i realized how difficult that would actually be. it really bothered me at first but i have accepted that it just wasn’t reasonable. i know it could have been done if i was persistent but i wasn’t due to a few reasons that i will lay out in the birth story. we found a good organic formula from whole foods that we like by earths best. 2 months in and the babies fluctuate from eating every two hours to every four hours. for some reason through the night it’s always every two hours though! i can’t imagine what it would be like to sleep for six hours. one day! penelope is so chill and literally only cries or fusses when she needs something – whether it’s a diaper change or just wanting to be picked up for a little bit, she will tell you. she naps well in her swing during the day and sleeps next to me at night. she is so smiley these days and is a great eater! dezmond has a sensitive tummy so he eats really slow and needs to be held up for awhile after. he spits up his milk often. he prefers to be held anytime he’s awake which is fine by me so i try and give penelope a lot of attention at night when darin gets home. hence why she gets a spot right next to me in bed. they’re both so snuggly and they love kisses all over their faces. they even will nestle into darins beard, it’s the cutest thing ever to see.
i’ll start posting their weekly and monthly photos and updates soon. hah! when i can find some more time. and then eventually i will re-write their birth story.. (sigh).
here’s 2 months – today!